Let Me Go Read online

  As I looked around the cafeteria again, I saw a pretty girl with dark hair looking in my general direction with a semi-pissed off look on her face. She was the girlfriend of one of my customers. I remembered now with a smile that I’d tried to get with her once last semester while her boyfriend Cooper was in the next room and she had shot me down cold. I gestured to Brian, “What’s that girl’s name?”

  He made a face like he was mid-orgasm. “Oh baby, that’s Valerie, Cooper’s girlfriend. I heard those two basically never leave his room and just fuck all day.”

  “I knew I liked her.”

  Christian added as he looked over, “Oh, reminds me, you just missed the subject of that lovely photo. She was with Valerie.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Don’t know but she’s gorgeous, man. I mean, I’d say she’s in my top ten.”

  Now, there were a lot of beautiful women at this university so saying she was top ten—that was high praise. I was getting restless like I was on a mission. It was Wednesday and I wanted that girl in my bed by the weekend. The fact that Ethan couldn’t seal the deal meant nothing—I played dirtier. “Gotta go, gentleman.”

  As I exited, I saw a blonde walking about a hundred yards ahead of me. Trying to find a specific blonde on this campus was like looking for a needle in a haystack but I had a gut feeling and took a chance it was her. When I got within ten feet I stopped and just fell into step behind the girl; I was pretty certain I’d found her. She was on the tall side; I guessed about five-nine. I liked that. Being that I was a solid six-three, dating really small girls was kind of awkward. I had hung out with a girl who was like five-two or three last year. I didn’t feel like we matched up in bed and I couldn’t help but feel like I was walking around holding hands with a little rag doll. It didn’t last long.

  I followed the blonde across the quad and then into the bookstore. Something about her made me feel like I couldn’t pull out the usual bullshit that worked on most other females. I didn’t approach her, instead I just watched her. Her face was perfect. Her skin glowed and her eyes were an unusual shade of pale, cool blue—almost grey. She was slim but curvy and the way she dressed was different from most girls here—edgier. She was wearing a fitted, cropped black leather jacket open over a very tight black pullover. She had on jeans tucked into black boots that laced up almost to her knee. Her blonde hair hung halfway down her back. It wasn’t the stick straight ‘do that every other girl around here sported; her silky hair had chunky layers cut into the length and she had bangs. She had a nice body and like I said, she dressed a little different from the other girls here; I guessed her to be a fellow northerner.

  When she got to the register, I noticed the cashier chatting her up. She smiled patiently as he flirted but her eyes looked sad. I moved in closer and then leaned right over her shoulder as the cashier handed back her debit card. “Kasia…that fits. I’ve been wondering what your name was.”

  She turned slightly and after looking startled for a nanosecond she collected herself and then shot back, “Not Kah-see-ah, it’s pronounced Kah-shah. And what…you’ve been wanting to put a name to the face in the picture?”

  I couldn’t help the playful smile that crept up as I raised an eyebrow at her. “Yeah, a name to go with the…face.” When she lowered her gaze I was annoyed with myself for teasing her. “Sorry.”

  “Yeah, it’s still too soon for the whole ‘look back on this and laugh’ thing.”

  As I gestured to her clothes I said solemnly, “I should have been more sensitive. I can see you’re still in mourning.”

  After looking down at her all-black ensemble, thankfully, she laughed. “I guess I owe you a thank you. Bernadette told me you defended my honor—or defended women in general.”

  “It was nothing. I never liked your boyfriend anyway.”

  “Not my boyfriend. Not my friend. Not anything.”

  “Figured that. Are you ok, though?”

  “I wasn’t for a few days but now I’m alright. It helps to know that the picture—or pictures—aren’t making the rounds. Really, thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it again, I mean it.” I noticed her textbook purchase then and was truly surprised. “How are you a business major and we’ve never had classes together? Am I that unlucky?”

  She smiled with no trace of the sadness I saw in her eyes just a few minutes before. “Guess so.”

  “What are you doing this weekend, Kasia?”

  “Laying low.”

  I wrinkled my brow for exaggerated effect. “Why? Aren’t you going to Cooper’s? I know your friend Val is with him.”

  “I know but I’m not up for any frat parties just yet.”

  “I hear you. Well, if you change your mind—and I hope you do—maybe we’ll run into one another.”

  “I won’t. I’m sure.”

  I shrugged my shoulders, trying not to seem too eager. “Okay. Well, bye, Kah-shah,” I said, emphasizing the pronunciation. “It was nice to finally, officially meet you.”

  When she smiled at me, I thought to myself, this girl has the most beautiful lips I’ve ever seen. As she turned to leave she said, “Nice to meet you too, Dylan. You’re not what I expected.”

  Don’t know what that was supposed to mean but I took it at face value; she didn’t expect me to be decent, nice, or considerate. I guess my reputation had preceded me again.

  My plan to have her by this weekend was no longer in play. I could tell this one was a challenge. I liked challenges…and I liked Kasia.

  Kasia

  By Friday morning I was feeling a whole lot better. The girls had rallied around me, assuring me that this wasn’t such a big deal and I kept reminding myself that Dylan had made sure that the picture wasn’t being shared. I was feeling so much better that I had actually considered going to Cooper’s party.

  I did like Cooper. He was nice, extremely laid back—possibly due to the heavy weed habit—and I could tell that he really cared for Val. Valerie gushed about him as if he was Bill Gates, Orlando Bloom, and Ghandi—smart, hot, and enlightened—all rolled into one. He was a good guy but the two of them were completely wrapped up in one another lately. I wondered, laughing to myself, if they would even make it downstairs during the party.

  I was honest with myself; the main reason I wanted to go was the possibility of running into Dylan again. I thought I was going to hyperventilate when he practically rested his chin on my shoulder and said my name the other day. My entire body reacted to him. He was tall and although I had never seen him shirtless, I imagined lean muscles rippling beneath his clothes. I’d been having daydreams about the boy since that encounter at the bookstore.

  By the time I was leaving my last class of the day I had decided I would go with Valerie, Trish and Bernie to the party. I was smiling to myself thinking about what I would wear, deciding that I would tone down the all-black, angry, city-chick look. My smile fell when I turned the corner and saw Ethan sitting on my front steps. He looked defeated and sad. When he looked up at me I could barely contain my anger. “Please just go. I have nothing to say to you.”

  He stood and moved closer to me. “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, Kasia. I just got caught up in some dumb conversation and…I’m sorry.”

  I could have slapped him. Was he serious? “You’re sorry for what, Ethan? For showing a bunch of guys a picture of my body, treating me no better than a slutty hook-up? Or are you sorry for taking a picture of me like that without my consent in the first place?”

  “I was wrong—”

  “No, I’m not interested in your apology. I can’t believe I actually liked you and thought we were good together.”

  “Kasia, we are good together. Please, just please let me make it up to you.”

  “No, Ethan. It’s never going to happen. I want you to go…now.”

  He lowered his head and walked away. I know that people make mistakes and I knew that Ethan probably really regretted what he had done. I hate to admit it
but there was a small part of me that felt bad for him in that moment. We were done, though. What he did wasn’t only disrespectful to me, it also showed how immature and insecure he was. I could fault Patryk in some areas but the boy was self-assured. He would never have needed the seal of approval from anyone, let alone a bunch of smug frat boys.

  Running into Ethan took the wind out of my sails. Suddenly I had a strong urge for sushi, a glass of wine, and a night of sketching and pattern cutting.

  Designing and making clothes was my passion. I’ve been sewing since I was ten. My mother could probably make garments that were far better tailored than mine but she used her skills for making curtains, slipcovers, pillows, and things like that. She taught me the basics on our old sewing machine, as well as some detailed work with adding zippers and pleating but otherwise, I was self-taught. In high school I started devoting more time to my hobby and once I was in college, I used what I had learned in my marketing and e-commerce classes to launch my brand, Sweet Betty Threads. I sold my vintage-inspired dresses, blouses, and skirts to a mostly hipster, northeastern demographic. I certainly wasn’t making enough money to call it a career yet but I knew this is what I wanted to do. I was using Sweet Betty Threads as my senior project and it was really a labor of love.

  I wound up spending the entire week working on designs and was up until the early hours of the mornings tweaking my website. I had a 9 a.m. class Friday morning and was yawning as I waited in the long line at the coffee shop. I could feel his presence before he came up close to my ear and whispered, “So, it’s really Kah-zjah, right?”

  Damn, my whole body felt scorched when he was near. I took a deep breath and tried to sound casual. “You don’t have to do the full-on Polish accent, Dylan. I’ll think one of my brothers is calling my name.”

  “I definitely don’t want you to think of me in a brotherly way.” I cocked an eyebrow at him. I knew he was playing with me and I liked it. “Did you say brothers, plural?”

  “Yes, Dylan. I have three older, rather large, overly protective brothers.”

  “That’s good, I like protective. So, you never made it to Cooper’s. Did you spend last weekend home knitting or what?”

  I was surprised for a second and found myself smiling broadly as I said, “Close…sewing.”

  He looked confused momentarily before he went on, “Is there any chance I can convince you to come to a party at my place tonight? I know it was the scene of the crime and all but I can guarantee you no one will so much as mention it.” He put his hand on his chest. “You’ll have your own private security detail.”

  “That’s a nice offer but your frat house is pretty much number one on the list of places I plan on avoiding this year.”

  He pulled his best wounded face. “All year? Come on, Kasia, you’re killing me.”

  “It’s not the same for guys. You don’t care who sees you naked. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?”

  “First of all, not like I looked carefully or anything, but you weren’t naked. Second, if that was me in the picture and I looked like that, I would have made a damn billboard out of it.”

  I shook my head, closed my eyes and kneaded the heel of my palm into my forehead trying to erase the idea that Dylan had also obviously seen the picture. His tone softened, “Hey, if you won’t come, Kasia, then I’ll skip it too. Let me take you out.”

  “I don’t get this, Dylan. You don’t seem like someone who pursues.”

  He shrugged. “I just want to get to know you.” Then he looked up and met my gaze. I could feel my face redden just from his attention. “There’s something about you.”

  Breathe, Kasia. “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, I won’t bite…or photograph.” He smiled and bumped my shoulder. “Still too soon to joke about it?”

  “Yeah,” I said as I bumped him back hard, smiling.

  “So? About letting me take you out?”

  I paused first. “All right but nothing big, though—it’s not like a date or anything.”

  “Jeez, I’ve never had someone be so enthusiastic to be in my company. You’re crushing my ego, Kasia. But I’ll take what I can get. I’ll pick you up at seven, ok?”

  “Ok.” As he turned to leave I asked, “Aren’t you getting coffee?”

  He stated, matter-of-factly, “Nope, I was just following you.”

  I spent the entirety of class thinking about Dylan. There was something about him that was like a magnet; as disinterested as I pretended to be, I couldn’t help but want to be near him.

  Dylan

  When she opened her door, my reaction surprised me. Normally I would just be assessing a girl’s looks, her body—that’s all. When I first saw Kasia, though, it made me feel…happy? I was light-hearted and excited for some possibility. I wanted to talk to her, to make her laugh, to impress her. Believe me, I never cared about impressing anyone.

  She did look beautiful. I don’t remember what she was wearing but the biker chick look was gone, replaced by what I will dub “sexy hipster”. I took her in from head to toe and then teased, “Nice specs.”

  “You like?” she teased back, smiling. “My eyes were irritated from lack of sleep. The contacts weren’t happening.”

  She really did look cute in her retro-nerdy glasses. “I do like. You look like a sexy librarian that’s going to punish me for being too loud in the library.”

  She blushed as she said, “You have some imagination, Dylan.”

  “You have no idea, Kasia.”

  As we walked towards my car she asked where we were going. “Dinner,” I raised my hand to silence her before she could speak. “Not a dinner date—so don’t go getting any ideas—just dinner because people need to eat.”

  “Oh-kay, boss.”

  I took her to an Italian place in town and we sat, talking non-stop, not one awkward silence, for two hours as we ate and shared a bottle of wine. I liked that she ate. Most girls I knew lived on juice fasts and laxatives. I smiled as she cleaned the last bit of sauce on her plate with a piece of bread. When she noticed me smiling she became self-conscious. “I know. My brothers tell me I can put away food like a linebacker.”

  “Don’t stop. I like watching you eat.” When she looked at me quizzically I said, “I can’t stand when girls act like they’re not hungry and starve themselves in front of guys. It’s weird…you’re normal.”

  Kasia smiled at me like I’d said the strangest thing. She shrugged and said, “I’m lucky. Apparently I inherited my mother’s metabolism. She’s still slender after a lifetime of pierogis.”

  “Good to know.” In that moment a vision of Kasia as a slim, hot, older wife flashed through my head before I quickly shook off that bat-shit crazy thought.

  “So, Kasia, at the risk of hearing something terrible about myself, can I ask why you were so reluctant to go out with me?”

  She looked uneasy for a second and then covered it with a smile. “I’m just not usually drawn to the big-man-on-campus type, that’s all.”

  “Is that me? Is that my type?”

  “Frat guy, lacrosse star,” she looked up to meet my gaze as she continued, “someone who’s rumored to have a different girl in his bed every weekend. That type.”

  “Ouch. I sound like a total dick.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, you do.”

  “So who is little Kah-zjah usually drawn to?”

  “I don’t know. Nice guys.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Like Ethan? You have to admit, that book wasn’t well judged by its cover. Maybe you have me all wrong.”

  “You got me there, Dylan.”

  I felt like I was making some progress with Kasia. I wanted to grab hold of her hand on the drive home but I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. I decided I’d play hard to get and hopefully leave her wanting. I couldn’t help it—in business and in life I was always strategizing.

  “So, thank you for dinner, Dylan.”

  “You’re welcome. I had fun, Kasia.”

>   “Me too.”

  The air felt like it was crackling between the two of us in the ensuing silence. Typically, now would be the time I would drag her to me, kiss her senseless and press into her until she begged me for it. Instead I said, “Okay, I’ll see you,” as I turned and walked back to my car. Take that, sweet Kasia. I hope you’re lying in bed as frustrated as I am tonight.

  Kasia

  “I heard you were out with Dylan last night?” Valerie challenged as she came bounding in the door.

  “Wow. If I knew this is what it would take for you to actually leave Cooper’s bed and make your way home, I would have gone out with him the first time he asked me.”

  “Ha ha. Really, Kasia, what’s going on? Did he take you on a date?”

  “What? Is that so unbelievable? Am I an ogre or something?” I teased.

  She flopped onto her bed. “I just mean, he doesn’t date…he commands, just summons chicks, you know?”

  “Val, it wasn’t technically a date. We just hung out. No kissing, nothing. He kind of badgered me to hang out with him and I gave in.”

  She looked at the ceiling, perplexed. “Holy shit.”

  “What?”

  She looked uneasy. “I don’t know, Kasia. I feel, like, afraid for you. Maybe I’m crazy and overreacting. I know what he did for you was really nice and everything but there’s something about him…he’s dangerous.”

  “I think that whole aloof thing he puts out is just an act. I was with a really, genuinely nice person last night. He was thoughtful, funny, and sweet.” I paused and thought for a moment. “I’m attracted to him but then there is a part of me where the warning bells are already going off. I understand what you’re saying, Valerie.”

  “Just be careful.”

  I waved her off then, feeling silly for voicing my reservations. “Listen, he dropped me off without even trying to kiss me so obviously he’s not that into me.”

  As I said that I didn’t believe it. I knew he wanted me, badly. I could feel it. And I wanted him too. It’s as if Val could read the situation as clearly as I could. “The fact that he didn’t kiss you says so much more, Kasia. Don’t you see, he’s drawing you in like a spider to his web. Presenting this persona, making you see him as something he’s not, leaving you wanting. I’m telling you, run, he’s…devious.”